Brother

Suddenly my mind flashed back to what mum commented last week "Onn Onn, classmate get married." Such a simple comment brings me to grief actually. Many times in my life, I get to wonder why such a painful event goes to my brother. Till today, I still can't really accept the fact why he got such a tragic disease. Sometimes I do asked mum why she dint get more children so I won't be that lonely. Mum never gives me an answer of that and I do understand why she did so.

I wish I can have 2 or three brothers or sisters. That would be fun when everyone grew up. Looking on my friends telling me how they have family gathering, meeting up with their siblings, I just feel jealous of them. Sometime I do ask God, since he know I love my brother so much why this happend to him. A very smart boy, talented person have such an ending. Nine years passed since the day he fall sick, yet I never stop asking God why all these comes to him. When I was young, he always told me "Meg ge, I wish I will be a astronut or scientist or doctor or at least a pharmacist to give mama a good life in future." Sometime when I come accross his classmates I just said to myself, "Onn Onn if you are alright now, I'm sure you are at least a pharmacist and of course you have a pretty girlfriend and get marry soon and I have to deal with another person in my life" Since I was young He enjoyed bully me till I cried badly like hell. Each night before we went to bed he is pro in telling ghost story which makes me shouting, screaming and crying. He never pampered me as how others people pampered their younger sister. But what makes me love him so much is how he makes me cry and laughing at me when I doesnt know how to solve my Mathematics equation. He is always there tell me how he chased a girl in the school. How girls come after him. This is because he know I won't tell mum because I don't know what all these is about and its just merely a story telling for a kid. When I flash back all these things, I really missed my childhood days with his presence. Although during sems breaks day I do tell him from begining till the semester ends hows my semester life and how sucks the semester to me but the feeling is never same as when I was young. I hope he is there to answer my conversation then only looking at me with a kind of understanding expression. Anyway, life still to get on and I'm learning to accept the reality that things never goes back like before. Even how much I linger on it, it is just a dream. Does this dream will comes true? The answer is only known by God the great creator of the world.